How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In America we eat man semen.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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