sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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