Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My ass is underappreciated
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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