i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
