I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
