I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize