oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you win again, gameday.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
