the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
