It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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