By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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