How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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