i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
