Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize
