This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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