just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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