he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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