The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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The air was thick with penises
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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