nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
