apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
