i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
