He asked to "fluff my boner.."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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