I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
