You just made me feel so damn special
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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