Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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