3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
