every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
