I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she woke up with a sticky ear
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
