i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
