You smell like stripper and shame
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
