Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
