i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Are my feet made of real feet?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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