Me too!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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