There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
