your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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