It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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