What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
