i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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