its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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