Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
