also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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