I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
