dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
