At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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