another moral hangover. fuck.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
