The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
