You really coming over, don't trick.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
