I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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