Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
