THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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