There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize