go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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