Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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