what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
