so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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