Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
