I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
