how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
