Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had to cum in my sink.
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