think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
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So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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