the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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