Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
